If Nigeria were a Netflix series, 2025 would be the season where the writers go full-on political satire. Between presidential vanishing acts, pardons for drug traffickers, and a national anthem throwback that screams “colonial cosplay”, it’s hard to tell whether we’re watching a democracy or a well-funded theatre production.
President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, elected in 2023, has recently taken on the role of “The Invisible Man”. His public appearances have dwindled to the point where Nigerians are asking, “Where’s Tinubu?” more often than they ask about fuel prices, and that’s saying something.
While the country grapples with inflation, insecurity, and a coastal highway project that’s more mystery than infrastructure, Tinubu’s silence has become deafening. No press briefings. No national addresses. Just vibes.
Recently (In October 2025), Tinubu decided the next best thing to do is to grant clemency to 175 individuals, and thanks to StatiSense, we now know exactly what kinds of offenses were forgiven. Spoiler alert: it’s not just petty theft.
| Drugs | 29.2%
| Unlawful Mining | 24.0%
| Homicide | 13.5%
| Fraud/Corruption | 12.3%
| Hijacking | 5.8%
| Firearms | 2.3%
| Robbery/Theft | 2.3%
| Kidnapping | 1.8%
| Human Trafficking | 1.8%
| Others | 5.8%
So yes, nearly 30% of pardons went to drug-related offenses, which is especially rich considering Tinubu’s own historical brush with a U.S. civil forfeiture case involving suspected drug money. No criminal charges were filed, but the optics? Chef’s kiss.
Among the posthumous honorees was Herbert Macaulay, whose face is already on the ₦1 note. Pardoning him for a colonial-era offense is like giving a lifetime achievement award to someone who’s already won it - twice. Which take is back to the Anthem Nostalgia or Colonial Regression?
Remember in May 29, 2024, Tinubu signed a bill reverting Nigeria’s national anthem from “Arise, O Compatriots” to “Nigeria, We Hail Thee” - the original tune sung at independence in 1960. Supporters called it a return to tradition. Critics called it a tone-deaf distraction.
Meanwhile, Minister of Works David Umahi is tap-dancing around questions about the cost of the 700km Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway. When pressed by Arise TV’s Rufai Oseni, Umahi dodged like a seasoned boxer, refusing to give a per-kilometre breakdown and instead blaming terrain, materials, and, presumably, the moon’s gravitational pull.
Governor Seyi Makinde of Oyo State wasn’t amused. He demanded transparency, saying Nigerians deserve to know how their money is being spent. But in the spirit of 2025, clarity is apparently optional.
Tinubu’s administration claims to have generated ₦12.25 trillion in revenue through oil and gas reforms over two years. The World Bank even gave a polite nod, saying macroeconomic indicators are improving. But for the average Nigerian, the only thing rising faster than GDP is the price of garri.
From anthem reversions to historical pardons, Tinubu’s presidency seems more focused on rewriting Nigeria’s narrative than solving its problems. It’s like watching someone rearrange the furniture while the house is on fire.
And with the president’s whereabouts unknown, ministers dodging accountability, and the public left to decode symbolic gestures, one has to ask: Is Nigeria being governed, or is it just being narrated?