Welcome to Anambra State, where politics isn’t just a game, it’s a full-blown Nollywood blockbuster with a sprinkle of PhD drama, DNA tests, cathedral oaths, and enough ego to power the national grid. If you thought governance was about roads and schools, think again. In Soludo’s Anambra, it’s about who smells more “professorial” and who’s ready to swear chastity on the altar of political warfare.
Governor Chukwuma Charles Soludo, the self-declared intellectual heavyweight, recently took a break from governing to moonlight as a credential inspector. His target? Senator Uche Ekwunife, APC’s deputy governorship candidate, whom he accused of holding a PhD from a university so obscure it might as well be located in the Bermuda Triangle.
Soludo asked the question on everyone’s mind: How do you jump from SSCE to PhD without passing through the valley of BSc and MSc? Nigerians clapped. Twitter clapped louder. And Ekwunife? She clapped back with thunder.
Ekwunife didn’t just respond, she detonated. She called Soludo a “smelling professor,” accused him of presiding over a state where people are mysteriously dying, and dared him to take her to court if he had proof. She even threw shade at his political rise, suggesting he was hand-fed by former Governor Obiano like a toddler with mashed yam.
At this point, the campaign trail turned into a WWE ring. But wait, there’s more.
Just when you thought the drama had peaked, Dr. Nonye Soludo, the governor’s wife, stepped in with the kind of energy that makes soap operas jealous.
- She challenged Ekwunife to a public oath of chastity in a cathedral. Yes, a cathedral.
- Proposed DNA tests for both families in London, offering to pay the bill.
- Declared she’s only ever known one man - her husband, Soludo.
At this point, voters weren’t sure if they were watching a political campaign or the season finale of Keeping Up with the Soludos.
While roads crumble and schools beg for chalk, Anambra’s political elite are busy trading insults like market women fighting over the last piece of pomo. Soludo’s team says they’re exposing fraud. The opposition says he’s running a circus. And the people? They’re just trying to survive the drama long enough to vote in peace.
My dear people of the Aproko Nation, let’s be honest, this isn’t politics. It’s performance art.
- Academic gatekeeping has replaced policy debates.
- Cathedral oaths are now campaign strategy.
- DNA tests are the new voter ID.
And somewhere in the middle of all this, the average Anambra citizen is wondering: Can we get light, water, and security before the next episode drops?
Soludo may be playing chess while others play draughts, or maybe everyone’s just playing Whot with no rules. Either way, Anambra’s 2025 election is shaping up to be the most entertaining political showdown since the invention of agbada.
So grab your popcorn, my Aproko people. Because in this state, the campaign trail is paved with cruise, chaos, and cathedral drama.